The Ancient Chinese Secret to Free Parking
Haw Flakes, a Chinese herbal candy available at Asian specialty stores, can be hard to come by. This is due to at least two things.
- They are made with a food coloring that the FDA has banned, leading to their removal from store shelves.
- They are as vile as the spittle of the whore of Babylon.
However, they are also exactly the same size as a quarter, meaning you can put them in a parking meter. Prices may vary, and perhaps we exaggerate when we say the parking is free, but they go for as little as 25 cents a package.
So, if you want to risk jail time, ala Cool Hand Luke, to save a pittance, this is your ticket to the bighouse. Just keep a few to offer your cell mates when he asks you what you’re in for. (He will be there for murder, but promises he will beat the rap because he ate the bodies)